|
Return
to Archives
09/16/2002 Entry: "New
Office Vocabulary"
This was sent to me by a friend and I thought that
anyone working or have worked in an office environment would be
able to relate :
New Office Vocabulary Words
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing
why a
deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, dookies all over everything, and then leaves.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to die in the end.
IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. Simpson trials were a prime example.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to reduce
the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
(More in read more section)
Extended Entry Below
CAREER LIMITING MOVE (CLM) - Used among microserfs
to describe
an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is
within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve.
FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of
planning to leave the company or department soon.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page
could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him...he's
404 man!"
GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip
malls, subdivision. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica, that
I forgot what city we were in!"
OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a REAL BIG mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking
an electronic device to get it to work again.
CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
IDEA HAMSTERS - People who always seem to have their idea generators
running.
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in
a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
going on.
SITCOMS - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one
of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single
Income, Two Children, and an Oppressive Mortgage."
STARTER MARRIAGE - A short-lived, first marriage that ends in divorce
with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY - A person who seem's to thrive on being stressed out
and whiny.
SWIPED OUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person
in an office or work group.
G.O.O.D. JOB - a "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people
take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit just
as
soon as they are solvent again.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATM's
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal,
i.e., "We owe $8.00 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food
stamps."
|
