Gemelle's Library of Jokes
"Bits of Wisdom"

:: Back to Jokes ::

  1. Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.

  2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for
  it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that
  wrinkles do not hurt.

  3. When I am feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's
  dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

  4. If you cannot be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

  5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

  6. A penny saved is a government oversight.

  7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the
  right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
  moment.

  8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
  your body and your fat are really good friends.

  9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy
  a replacement.

  10. He who hesitates is probably right.

  11. If you think there is good in everybody, you have not met
  everybody.

  12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in
  mind to blame.

  13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
  he is really in trouble.

  14. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip 
  around the sun.

  15. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better, when it is
  open.

  16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth!

  17. The difference between a-kissing and brown-nosing is depth
  perception.

Last Updated: 07/03/01