|
Gemelle's
Library of Jokes
Some Interesting Labels
::
Back
to Jokes ::
Actual Label Instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. (really?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not
turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction incidents if we
just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor
use only. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(geez, I didn't know that?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals. (no comments ...)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On the back of an old Nintendo Cartridge: Do Not Immerse in Water.
(Geez, really! Thanks for warning me before I play the game!)
Last Updated: 09/01/01 |
