Gemelle's Library of Jokes
Neiman Marcus Cookies

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The following is supposedly a true story of a lady who decided to take revenge
against Neiman Marcus, whose employees had poor communication skills.

~~~~~~~~~Not A Joke~~~~~~~~~~

Can you believe... My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in
Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie
lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus cookie".

I was so excellent that I asked if they would give   me the recipe and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not but you can only buy the recipe".

Well, I asked how much, and she responded. "Only two fifty, it's a great deal!"

I agreed, just add it  to my tab I told her. Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it was   $285.00. I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf.

As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00".

That's outrageous! I called Neiman's Accounting Dept. and told them the
waitress said it was "two-fifty," which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars by any *POSSIBLE* interpretation of the phrase!

Neiman-Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because
according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have
already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point."

I explained to her the criminal statutes which govern fraud in Texas. I
threatened to refer them to the Better Business Bureau and the State's
Attorney General for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you
want, it doesn't matter, and we're not refunding your money."

I waited, thinking of how I could get even, or even try and get any of my
money back. I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00, and now I'm going
to have $25,000.00 worth of fun. I told her that I was going to see to it
that every Cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a
$250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus...for free.

She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this." I said, "Well, you should have
thought of that before you ripped me off," and slammed down the phone on
her. So here it is!!! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can
possibly think of. I paid $250 for this... I don't want Neiman-Marcus to
*ever* get another penny off of this recipe....

****************************************************

THE NEIMAN MARCUS COOKIE (Recipe may be halved):

2 cups butter
4 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 cups sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal (measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine
powder.)
24 oz. chocolate chips
2 cups brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 - 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice, but we liked pecans best)

Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with
flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts.
Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.   Makes 112 cookies.

****************************************************

Supposedly this is not a joke but a true story. I've never tried this
receipe nor tasted Neiman-Marcus cookies. I didn't even know NM had cookies.
But maybe it really is a good cookie recipe. 

Last Updated: 09/01/01