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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker night 4.3, Drunken Boys
Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking
about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe
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Advice from Tech Support
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but
is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system
once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. (Look in your
manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.") I recommend you keep Wife
1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their
cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\
APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating
system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance. Consider buying addition software to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Chocolates 5.0, Jewelry 4.0 or
Romantic Weekend 1.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install
ShortSkirtSecretary 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0
and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support

Last Updated: 09/01/01
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